When it comes to love, it seems as though everyone is on the same quest – to find the person we can tolerate for the rest of our lives. I mean, what’s the point of being with someone longterm if you can’t see yourself annoying them forever, anyway?
It’s almost impossible to escape the desire to find our better half – rom-coms are flooding our television screens, adorable couples are taking over our Instagram feeds and most of our friends are getting engaged or married all over Facebook.
No wonder we’re feeling more alone than ever with our Ben & Jerry’s pints and Netflix accounts.
When you find yourself in a relationship with someone, in the beginning, it seem as though everything is pure bliss and happiness – you’re on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. You have butterflies, you get nervous, you blush.
But, when you find the right person, sometimes, it’s not like this at all. In fact, sometimes it’s the opposite.
1. You’ll feel at ease:
I’m a firm believer that when you’re with the right person, they won’t make you feel nervous, anxious and uncertain. In fact, they’ll make you feel at ease. You won’t have anxiety about whether or not you’re making the right decision, because you’ll know in your heart you are.
2. The fights are about things that actually matter:
When you’re in a relationship with someone who means something, the little things aren’t such a big deal. Long gone are the fights over liking another girls’ picture on social media and “why didn’t you answer my text!?!”
When you do have arguments – and trust me you will – they’re going to be about things that actually matter to both of you. They will be things you will grow to compromise on and understand. They will be things that have depth and meaning.
3. You both look at your relationship as a partnership:
There is never a time where you feel better than your SO and vise versa. Instead, you both feel that when you’re doing well, it only strengthens your relationship – not your individual position in life.
When you make big decisions, you know that they’re the person to confide in. When you have to make choices, they’re always the one on the forefront of your mind.
4. Trust, trust, trust:
If you’re still in a relationship where you feel uncomfortable when your partner wants to go out without you – you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
You and your SO are adults and individuals – you may both love each other, of course – but your worlds should not only revolve around each other. With that being said, if they decide to go out for some drinks without you, have a “girls” or “guys” night, you should be able to trust them.
If you don’t trust them, do. not. be. with. them.
5. You don’t always have to be doing something incredible to enjoy your time together:
Not every single day you spend with your SO is going to be jam-packed with lavish dinners, adventurous trips outstanding surprises. Some of the best times you spend with your person is going to be the times where you lounge around and do nothing together.
If you’re with the person you’re meant to be with, this down time is something you appreciate, look forward to and actually cherish.
6. You’re comfortable with where you are in life, even if you’re not where everyone else is:
Every love has its own timeline. Some love moves faster than others, some love moves at a snails pace – both of these things are completely normal because it is dependent on your individual relationship.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
6. You can feel yourself changing and you’re okay with it:
If someone tells you that you should never change for another person – f*ck them. Everyone makes changes when they’re in a long-term relationship and if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.
Sometimes, we have to mature in order to maintain the rhythm of our relationship. When you change, you grow.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
7. You both have your own friends, but your friends love them too:
It’s important to have your own people outside of your relationship. While when you’re in love, you want to spend a lot of time together – it’s healthy to get a break. You should have friends outside of your relationship that you can rely on the same way you rely on your partner. It’s important to have that kind of support and not put insane amounts of pressure on your relationship.
But, those friends love your partner just as much as you do. If they don’t, it’s a red flag you should address. When you’re with a good person, who cares, who is right for you – your friends will know.
8. The sex doesn’t fade out:
When you start to date someone in the very beginning, the sex will be constant. You’re both in the “honeymoon” stage and want to rip each other’s clothes off as much as possible. But, no matter what happens, that feeling tends to slip.
Although you may not rip each other’s clothes off everyday, you two are still sexually active and compatible. You should never be going weeks without sex – that’s an issue. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s definitely important.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
9. You’re not embarrassed, you’re not ashamed – your imperfections are okay:
No one is 100% happy with themselves all of the time. In fact, there are days where we will just hate everything about ourselves. When you’re with the right person, you won’t feel pressure to always be “on point.” You’re okay with the skin you’re in, you’re comfortable with having your own flaws.
The person you’re with will never question your worth when you’re feeling down.
Just because all of your other friends in relationships are engaged, doesn’t mean you both want or need to be engaged. In fact, sometimes, you enjoy being that odd couple out.
10. You can see your life with the person and you don’t want to run:
When you have to think about growing up, it can be terrifying. No one wants to get old, no one wants to lose their youth, no one wants to be an “adult, adult.” But, when you think about settling down and actually starting a life with someone, you know without a doubt, this person is the one it’ll be with.
It doesn’t have to happen overnight – hell, it may take 10 more years of dating before you’re both ready – but, you know that when you are ready, there’s no doubt in your mind it is with them.